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How come you have inner conflicts when setting goals which are “positive” and really desirable?

As you have probably noticed on my site, I believe that the main reason for the problems people have in achieving their goals is connected to the inner conflicts they have about them.
Today I’ve got an interesting question from a QUICK GOALS practitioner.

She noticed that she had very strong negative feelings about the goal she has set (starting an exercise program). She was pretty puzzled by the fact and asked herself how it is possible to have such conflict when she really wants that goal.

In which way could her exercise program be in a conflict with her spiritual path?
Here is my answer:


Dear QUICK GOALS practitioner (in the mail I used her name :),

The question you asked is really interesting for understanding the achievement process.

Generally setting an exercise program is NOT in a conflict with one’s spiritual path. But it may activate some of the conflicts you have in that life area.
Let’s suppose that you have had started and gave up running (or exercising generally) earlier in your life.
If you had such experience in the past you will unconsciously remember it when you make the decision to start exercise program again. Naturally all underlying conflicts you have had in the past will get reactivated.
Because of that, whenever you go running you will have one part of your attention on previous experience of quitting and you will experience some of the unpleasant mental pictures, thoughts, emotions and body sensations connected to those past experiences.

The same is true even when you just make a decision about exercising. Or a plan, or even when you decide to buy running shoes before starting your exercise program.

Unfortunately that is not all.

If our about-to-start-running person wants to start running because she wants to improve her health, she probably has some experiences connected to her health problems.
In her mind all these experiences are connected with the decision to start exercising (they are the reasons for exercising), and they will get activated while she tries to exercise (or start any other activity to improve her health).

The situation is pretty much the same if she wanted to start exercising in order to look better.

There are some previous experiences that show to her that she is not looking the way she wants. These experiences will get activated (unconsciously remembered) while she tries to work on her goal.

And there is more.

If she has some experiences from a high school in which she had some not-so-nice experiences because she didn’t look the way she wanted (and everybody have these :-), that will get re-activated too.
If our running-person is trying to show to her husband that she has willpower, situations in which she lacked willpower will get activated.

And maybe even more important, some situations will get activated in which she didn’t get the acknowledgement from her husband. (Having a need to prove something like that shows that she lacks husband’s acknowledgement in that area).

When you understand all this, it’s pretty clear why most of the people have a pathetic record in achieving their life-goals.


When you set your goals from inner conflicts, most of the time you will experience (to some degree) problematic past experiences connected to such goals (or connected  to different benefits you are trying to accomplish with goal’s achievement).
So, whenever we are trying to achieve some goal, we should be aware of its relationship with some of our past experiences, and our resulting states of mind.

For your prosperity and success,


P.S. To learn how to practically eliminate such conflicts, download my Free SIX EASY STEPS THAT WILL HARMONIZE YOUR GOALS WITH YOUR SPIRITUAL PATH material

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